I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
