I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
