it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
