you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
