We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
50% drunk capacity currently
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
