Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
