Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
