My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
