Dual....:-)
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
