speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Found your dick twin last night
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
