just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
