So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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