reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I love you. Go after that dick
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
