Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
