we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
