She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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