im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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