I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
