I think scott just propositioned me for sex
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
