We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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