Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The uberlube is also flammable
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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