if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
