See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
