what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
