you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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