I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
