I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
zippers are such a cool invention
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
