Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Randomize
