I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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