I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
