I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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