She's JV to your varsity
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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