Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
