Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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