she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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