hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
