Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
