This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
