nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
