everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Randomize
