Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
