So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
