You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
