O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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