all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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