I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
