Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
