Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
