He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
