If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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