My brain says no but my pants say off.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
