so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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