I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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