Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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