I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
